Every parent knows the true start of the year: September! So, let’s take a page from school days and get ourselves off to the right start. What’s step one? Right thinking or what the Buddhists call “right view.”
The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching describes right view as, “…the insight we have into the reality of life, a living insight that fills us with understanding, peace, and love.” Having a wise perspective is the tip of the iceberg—it’s what you do with that perspective that makes the difference. That’s what we’ll talk about in the September series, Right View, Right Action.
My friend Carolyn’s rallying cry is, “Gotcha covered!” As the most creative, organized person on the block, she’s the go-to whenever her friends and family need a helping hand, and that’s a fantastic quality. But her can-do attitude unexpectedly backfired at her son’s new soccer league.
She recalled, “When one of the moms asked if I could bring snacks for the next practice, I said, ‘Gotcha covered!’ A couple of weeks later, another mom had to travel for work and wanted me to step in. I told her, ‘Gotcha covered!’, thinking she would rotate with me in the future.”
“Then another mom texted saying she couldn’t make it to practice,” Carolyn said, tensing up. “Long story short, I ended up being the permanent snack mom. Boy, was I glad when that season ended!”
Did Carolyn have the right view? Absolutely. She was trying to be a good sport when she helped mom #1. And she didn’t think twice when mom #2 said she was traveling or mom #3 had a scheduling conflict.
However, Carolyn forgot to communicate the rest of her view, which was that she wasn’t committed to doing the job every week—she was just trying to cooperate with other parents. She was so busy stepping up that she never asked how the rotation worked or when she would have time off. She was resentful and burned-out by the end of the season and who can blame her?
Carolyn’s story is important because everyone faces new opportunities in the fall. And let’s face it—there are plenty of times you can’t say “no.” You get a surprise invitation to a late meeting with the boss. Or, like Carolyn, you try to make a good impression in a social situation.
You can stay the boss of your calendar by asking a few simple questions upfront. That’s using your internal wisdom to communicate your view. It’s also how you stay authentic, a key Soul Boss idea. The answers will clarify expectations for everyone (including you!). Try these examples:
This fall, don’t throw in the towel and surrender your schedule to commitments you can’t manage. Support your good intentions with right action.