Here’s a big question: How would you rate your integrity? Does your high ethical bar start to slide when demands are high and time is short?
Everyone has that dilemma. Sometimes integrity can feel like a slippery slope, an “I’ll know it when I see it” kind of thing. But educational psychologist Michele Borba discovered in her research that integrity and self-control were part of seven traits that differentiated children who thrive from those who don’t. She defined it this way: “Integrity is a set of learned beliefs, capacities, attitudes, and skills that create a moral compass children can use to help them know—and do—what’s right. Laying out our own expectations is a huge part of the puzzle. But equally important is giving them space to develop their own moral identity alongside and separate from our own.”
So, does it seem that practicing and modeling integrity should be reserved for a perfect world? Let’s talk through a make it real example.
Libby Ward has a no-holds barred approach to parenting, which she shares on her TikTok account, Diary of an Honest Mom. Her content is entertaining, thought provoking, and most of all authentic. And the authentic part is where things got interesting.
She discovered another TikTok creator who made a video that wasn’t only similar—it copied Libby’s video word-for-word. Libby thought the situation had been handled once she DM’d the creator, who agreed to remove it.
But two weeks later, the person was back at it. She posted a new word-for-word copy and added insult to injury by coining Libby’s account name.
At this point, Ward went public with two replies. She said, “Be more creative. Call yourself the Honest Mom if you want. But stop stealing my content.”
When others asked why she didn’t simply block the offending account, Ward stated, “I don’t consider it drama. I actually hate drama. I consider it standing up for myself, which women have been told for years not to do, and just keep the peace… I felt it was time to say it was enough—to her and everyone else who’s stealing content from other people.”
In the June series, Three Ways to Thrive with Soft Skills, we’re discussing how you can use soft skills to flourish. You might listen to Libby Ward’s story and think, Obviously the other creator doesn’t have integrity. But what do you do when the facts aren’t as clear? Something’s gotta give!
Fair enough. Being upright requires self-control and strength of heart, which can feel optional when you’re pushed. But Libby’s situation highlights why you want to persevere instead of throwing in the towel. Consider the Hall of Shame of celebrities, tech founders, and social media influencers who compromised their ethics. Does anyone remember their accomplishments? Nope! Their new highlight reel includes questionable judgment and a lack of conscience.
Integrity is bigger than making hard choices when easy ones will do. It’s also about others knowing you’ll do the right thing. So, strengthen your principles through soft skill How tactics like healthy self-esteem, compassion, and discernment. You’re probably doing better than you think, even on the hard days.
For instance, acknowledge decisions where you swapped trade-offs for bringing your principles to life, such as:
* Putting your best food forward, even when you have the chance to cut corners
* Relying on personal interactions and experience rather than office gossip
* Keeping your word, although a deadline was hard to meet
Learning how to practice self-control and integrity isn’t just for little kids, and it doesn’t have to be hard. Streamline your thinking with practical, attainable descriptions like being authentic, upright, and true—the real you. What are the red flags? Anything that makes you feel forced, fake, or insincere.
Maintaining a moral compass isn’t aspirational or situational. Stay true to yourself and thrive by keeping your integrity intact.