Artist Day Schildkret at Morning Altars hit the wall. Not on Friday, mind you. By Monday mid-day. Can you relate?
In many ways, it was an ordinary day. He visited his mom in memory care and touched base with friends. Work often provided a positive distraction. But on this day, his emotional gas tank edged toward empty.
So, his next step was reaching out to his “emergency people.” Interestingly, no one pushed the rise-and-grind narrative. Instead, everyone had a version of the same sentiment: “No work today. It’s a sick day. Get outside. Connect with what brings you life.” Day spent a barefoot afternoon in the sun recharging.
In the February series, Relationship Threshold Questions, we’re discussing how to use soft skills to reshape and improve relationships. Last week, we talked about aligning connections with values. Day’s story demonstrates topic #2, the power of creating a trustworthy circle.
As you think through family, friends, and colleagues, do you know someone who cuts to the heart of the matter? A person whose calm insights re-center you? And who has a knack for the kind of truth-telling that is direct but also diplomatic? Then ask the relationship threshold question, “Should I add this person to my Truth Council?”
To be clear, people who are part of your Truth Council aren’t there to co-sign every feeling or action. Instead, they have ninja-level emotional intelligence and communication skills. They’re capable of seeing your emotional blind spots, but they’re also committed to coaching you through them.
Your role is to listen and act on their insights, even if their feedback pinches a little like new shoes you have to break in.
Movie director Ryan Coogler is flying high right now with 16 Oscar nominations for his phenomenal picture, Sinners. But even someone who has directed multi-million dollar grossing films like Creed can face self-doubt. Black Panther was one of those times. Luckily, Chadwick Boseman came to the rescue.
Coogler remembers, “When I would be stressed on Panther, I would say, ‘Man, I gotta hurry up and do this or I’m gonna get fired.’ And he would say, ‘Hey, man, stop saying that. I’m not letting nobody fire you, bro, [so] please stop saying that. Relax, man. Do your work, enjoy it.'”
Have you had tough times like the case study, where emotional blind spots like overexplaining, being impulsive, or making assumptions about someone else’s intent almost got the best of you? When those insecurities happen, it often feels easier to ignore or power through them than facing the fear.
However, the moment you feel stuck is the time to call in your Truth Council. Trusted advisors help in the clutch because you get the benefit of their incredible people skills. (And by the way, you can return the favor or pay it forward by being on someone else’s Truth Council.)
As you have the courage to be vulnerable, your Truth Council will give guidance like:
If you’re still putting your team together in real life, visualize wise guidance from your favorite fierce but dignified Black Panther, Chadwick Boseman. Or this AI prompt will get you moving, too: “Act as a trusted friend who is part of my Truth Council. Give me encouragement and suggestions for how I might address emotional blind spots like overexplaining, making assumptions, or acting impulsively.”
Emotional blind spots happen to everyone, but they don’t need to pull you out of character. Course correct them by reaching out to your Truth Council.