Work Conflict is Normal, But Solvable (No Kidding)

Are you looking to improve your conflict mitigation skills, one of the top competencies on LinkedIn’s “Skills on the Rise” report? Then look no further than Home Depot on a Saturday morning. Sophisticated, sleek ninja moves are everywhere!

The funny thing about the conversations happening from aisle to aisle is that they showcase the same interpersonal qualities you need at work. You’ll hear creative thinking, shrewd trade-offs, and the compassion and patience necessary to understand the other person’s perspective, even when you disagree.

It’s tough to say, but true: Conflicts are inevitable, regardless of your job title, company, or industry. So, it’s worth cultivating ways to resolve or even sidestep a conflict before it turns into World War III. That type of wisdom is appreciated by Recruiters, Hiring Managers, and co-workers.

Practice People Skills to Move Past Disagreements

My colleague Mike is an icon of conflict mitigation skills. He’s a likeable, poised communicator who crunches multi-million dollar deals for breakfast. So, I was stunned when he mentioned that he was at an impasse with Jean.

At first glance, you’d think they would have a lot in common. They’re both substantive people and take pride in their work. But Jean wouldn’t greenlight Mike’s project.

After hearing no for the umpteenth time, an exasperated Mike tried to go at their disagreement from another angle. He carefully explained the pressure to ship compelling products in a tough marketplace.

Jean let Mike finish, but clapped back with a confident, lawyerly answer of, “But I’m here to mitigate risk.” <Groan.>

Suddenly, Mike saw the real problem: Hidden assumptions. His expectation was that they were working toward a successful product launch. However, Jean’s perspective was that they were at a stop ship. No launch until any and every risk was removed (high-minded, but impractical).

After a little more wrangling, Mike and Jean met in the middle. Later, Mike shook his head and laughed, “Getting to yes was a real rollercoaster. I never knew the internal negotiation can be harder than the external one!”

5 Ways to Describe Your Conflict Mitigation Moves

Have you been in similar situations, where people talk past each other? Have you wound up in a throwdown, with hard feelings and lingering resentments? I have. And I’ll also plead guilty to thinking that might made right. But it turns out, “I created an enemy for life,” is only a narrative that works if you’re a Real Housewife!

In the June series, Spice Up Your Skillset, we’re talking about techniques to bring people skills to life on your LinkedIn profile as well as interview conversations. You may think, I’m not a professional negotiator, so conflict mitigation doesn’t apply to me. But you don’t have to be a professional negotiator to have problem-solving know-how.

For kicks, let’s go back to the Home Depot example. Think of ways you’ve heard couples find a solution, then repurpose those ideas to describe how you solve disagreements at the office. For instance:

1. I ease arguments by asking questions. It’s possible we’re working from different assumptions.
2. I bring difficult conversations back to shared goals so we can work quickly and efficiently.
3. When there is a difference of opinion, I focus on How we will achieve the goal. Attacking someone’s personal style isn’t productive.
4. Sometimes it’s best to take a break, then reconvene when tempers have cooled.
5. Passion has its place, but arguments need a time limit. We must shift from adversarial to aligned.

Bickering and right-fighting may feel justifiable, but they’re a fast pass to damaging relationships. (And that applies to work as well as combative family members, whether it’s your middle schooler or mother-in-law.) So, take some deep breaths before you start forcing and pushing. Instead, make the long game choice that will reflect positively on your reputation. Step back and cool down that conflict.