Some people seem to have it all together—that’s how I’d describe my friend Max. He’s personable, smart, and incredibly organized. I was sure his polished style got him the highly coveted roles on his impressive LinkedIn profile. But he let me in on a secret we all hate to admit—there were plenty of times he struggled alone for answers.
He remembered, “I was so excited to run my first executive offsite as Chief of Staff, but I knew I was in trouble by lunchtime. One person had lots of big ideas and wouldn’t stop talking. The person across from them kept interrupting, wanting to get to the bottom line. To make matters worse, they had the same title. It was impossible to ask either one of them to stand down!”
“That was my ‘Never again’ moment. I looked high and low, but no one had a cookie-cutter checklist for me. So, I looked around and thought, Who runs a meeting well? Who can help me learn the art of balancing strong personalities? I started asking people out for coffee, collecting their war stories. After a few months (and a lot of coffee!), I chose the best of the best and dropped everything else. Since no one had the perfect playbook, I decided to write it myself!”
In the October series, Little by Little, we’re talking about stepping back from your goals and taking stock. Max’s story shows how finding the next, right step often requires courage. The right mix of tactics for his team was out there, but only if he empowered himself to start searching for those tactics.
Complicating matters, Max knew that finding the perfect words for highly charged conversations was only half the battle. The other half was having personal success, which could only happen if he remained true to himself. So, he used the Soul Boss principle of calibrating your behavior for your circumstances. Calibrating how you respond—essentially turning the volume up or down on your personality without losing who you are—requires the soft skill of adaptability.
Everyone hits a wall where their best practices and favorite bag of tricks don’t seem to work anymore. When that happens, go little by little and investigate new ideas. Like Max, having a breakthrough may require some legwork and an open mind. You’ll probably have to cycle through a bunch of “No’s” before you get to a “Yes!”
Here are three ways you can write your own playbook:
You don’t have to stay in struggle, waiting for someone else’s approval or advice. So, don’t waste another minute—start writing your own playbook.