Did you catch The Gilded Age season opener? There was plenty of high-stakes drama, but I got hooked on scenes with Jack, the former footman. He’s had a meteoric rise from household staff to breakout alarm clock inventor.
Although Jack has waited on plenty of wealthy people, he still has a lot to learn. His bank account may be bursting, but his etiquette could use some polish.
He visits his former colleagues and explains his dilemma. They rally to Jack’s side, offering a crash course in how to be a millionaire.
In the November series, I Don’t Think So, Honey: Work Edition, we’re discussing things worth leaving behind this year.
If you’re lucky, you probably don’t spend much time stressing out over the oyster fork. However, Jack’s story is relatable because we’ve all tried to level up, then froze the second we felt out of our element.
For instance, have you left a meeting feeling self-conscious? Have you wondered if a misplaced word or action will wind up being a career-limiting move, especially if the meeting was recorded?
However, you can use people skills to reclaim your footing. Skip the fake flex and like Jack, identify a short list of areas where you’d like to feel more confident, then courageously ask for help.
As young boys, twins Travan and Travis Jasper never aspired to practice medicine. But a family medical crisis changed everything.
The attending physician who treated their uncle following long-term alcohol abuse was highly qualified. However, he stunned the family when he casually brushed off his patient’s liver condition as self-inflicted.
That abrupt interaction set the 12-year-olds on a new path. Despite growing up in extreme poverty in Richmond, Virginia, the Jaspers were determined to overcome their hard start and excel academically.
After graduating from high school as co-valedictorians, they attended Stanford University. They pushed on, finally earning medical degrees at the University of Chicago.
Now they’re back in Richmond at Chippenham Hospital. They co-run the emergency department with a single mission: Compassionate care.
Bossing up used to be about hanging on to petty insults and tone-deaf comments as “motivation”. But have you ever noticed what happens to people who let bitterness drive them?
Old slights often take up their present thoughts. Instead of chalking up a single situation to a lesson learned, they become suspicious of everyone. And they spend a lot of time nitpicking. Their “thought leadership” is more judgment than insight. Sounds like a bad way to spend the day!
By contrast, cut fears down to size by seeing learning and improving as part of every new level—that’s the Jaspers’ mindset. Dr. Travan Jasper noted, “I think all of the stuff that we went through—all of the negative days—made us who we are now.”
And while you’re fine-tuning your skills, you can simultaneously sow into others. Be someone who suggests easier ways of working or notices and validates constructive actions. That’s the fastest way to build a reputational track record, regardless of your title.
My soft skills became crisper as I worked on preparation, polish, and productivity. They’re a good start to either getting unstuck or mentoring and encouraging others:
And your AI prompt is: Act as a career coach for <describe role+ industry>. Create a learning plan for 3 essential competencies for this role.
Leveling up is never easy. But the next time you feel inadequate or insecure, remind yourself that everyone in the room has gone through similar challenges. When the inner critic nags that you’re stuck forever, whisper back, “I don’t think so, honey.”
