Advocate for a High Vibe

Is your social media feed starting to wear you out? Me, too! There seems to be a never-ending stream of bad news and screaming people. It’s enough to make you want to delete a few apps!

But all that craziness highlights an important point: True self-care isn’t about isolating or hanging out at your favorite nature spot. It’s about learning how to maintain your center in a loud, complicated world. To do that, you must be selective about where and when to engage or detach.

Let me tell you how Anil Dash decided to redirect his day to keep a high vibe.

Say No to Train Wrecks

Anil Dash has seen plenty of colorful behavior between his media experience at the Village Voice and as a tech industry CEO. But even he gets roped into crazy conversations sometimes. Here’s his thread from Twitter about why you should hit mute on social media shenanigans:

Okay, an exercise for today: If you hear about an individual doing a bad thing that you wouldn’t have known about if not for Twitter, just ignore it. No takes, no amplifying a person dunking on them, just ignore. Then find someone who’s doing good in that area and amplify them.

Twitter’s algorithm all but forces us into weighing in on things even if we detest them, thereby amplifying the destructive cycle. Until they fix their systems, we can only change our own actions.

To be clear, I’m as guilty of this as anyone. I find myself getting righteously angry about people whom I wouldn’t even know existed if not for Twitter saying, “Come look at this train wreck.” I don’t want to be a part of that anymore if I can help it.

Use Soft Skills to Make Smart Swaps

In the August series, Become a Self-Care Advocate, we’re talking about how you can be your own biggest supporter for a healthy body, mind, and spirit routine. Could you relate to Anil Dash’s story about getting righteously angry at people you don’t even know? I could! Once a throwdown is on, it’s surprisingly easy to fall down the slippery slope into the Valley of Low Vibes.

But you can change that experience by combining the soft skills of compassion and smart choices. Is it clever to pile on when you have partial facts? No. Is it wise to punch out a snappy response which you may regret later? Probably not. And is it kind to carry the irritation from that situation for the rest of the day like a backpack weighted down by rocks? No way! You may wind up so drained that you spend the rest of the night on the couch recovering!

So, how can you swap out low vibe problems? Here are a few ideas to kickstart your thinking:

1. Swap out the lunch with co-workers that always descends into a throwdown about the boss with a walk outside
2. Swap out the 15-minute monologue from a friend complaining about their spouse (again!) with a few brief texts before binging funny videos
3. Swap out the war of words over politics with the neighbor who always wants to bait you with a friendly wave and a relaxing dinner with the fam

Be good to yourself and start politely swapping anything shutting your heart down with activities that make you feel light, positive, and energized. Here are three ways to start:

• Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to affirm, “I take my power back from draining circumstances. I am the boss of me.”
• Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to think through personal situations that have gone sideways. How can you remove yourself when the conversation starts going south?
• Make it real by declining the next invitation you receive to a low vibe circumstance.

Annoying situations will happen. But before you get swallowed in the vortex, be discerning about whether you need to pile on. Pull back and become your own best self-care advocate.