Change Hatred to Healed

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I read about a young woman who felt like social media was the boss of her. Sometimes she loved her Mentions. But most of the time, there was a constant stream of negativity. Too many people were anxious to let her know exactly what they thought about any and every image she posted or word she said. Things got so bad that she couldn’t sleep—she would lay awake, repeating everything she hated about herself.

But one day she pushed beyond the endless stream of snarky comments and nagging self-doubt. She started wrestling with a completely different question: “Why do you make yourself feel this way?”

Breakthroughs Happen When You Change Your Self-Talk

Who was that girl? Superstar “Game of Thrones” actress Maisie Williams.

Now she says, “The answers to all of these questions really are within you. It sounds really hippy-dippy and like ‘Look within you to find peace,’ but it is true, and at the end of the day you’re making yourself feel this way for a reason.”

In the August series, Transformative Self-Care, we’re looking at four different aspects of self-care. You may relate to Maisie’s mental battle. Her struggle of pretending for the world that everything was all right is even more touching because it happened when she was at the top of her game.

But being on a smash TV show didn’t change the way she felt about herself. Changing her self-talk did. Maisie’s breakthrough happened when she stopped nit-picking and dropped the mantra of, “I hate myself.”

You can use the soft skill of adaptability to care for your mental health. Think of things that drive you crazy that you’ve turned into negative self-talk. Then change those statements into declarations of healing. For instance:

• “I hate it when I let others run me around” becomes “I set and stick to my priorities.”
• “I hate it when I don’t take care of myself” becomes “I care for myself every day, even if that’s just a 10-minute walk at lunch.”
• “I hate feeling exhausted” becomes “I listen to my body and let myself take a break or quit for the day long before I’m exhausted.”
• “I hate making the same mistakes” becomes “I listen to and follow my instincts, even when the path isn’t crystal clear.”
• “I hate postponing my dreams” becomes “I make time to pursue my goals.”

The Mental Health Challenge

So, how are you going to transform your anxieties and support your peace of mind? Try this mental health challenge:

• Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to affirm, “I have a calm, relaxed mind. I allow my mind to rest.”

• Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to reflect on the ways you put yourself down. How can you heal what you used to hate?

• Make it real by actively working to change three things you dislike about yourself. And remember that it’s about progress, not perfection!

Don’t let a passing comment be the boss of you. Your soul knows the truth of who you who are. Let your mind to be at ease.