My first week back at the office was bumpier than expected. Seeing colleagues and socializing was A-grade. But my walking style needs some serious work. As I zipped around going from meeting to meeting, I almost ran straight into people as I turned the corner. Twice!
Passion and the urge to act can be good things. They’re the qualities that bring good ideas from the ethers into the real world. But too much passion can backfire.
In the March series, Use Soft Skills to Watch Your Wake, we’re talking about how you can use soft skills to manage your emotions. Avoiding a possible hallway collision is easy—just slow down! However, sometimes it’s hard to slow down when we’re having a passionate discussion. The line between giving a complete picture or overflowing with too many details can quickly blur.
Let me tell you how an award-winning actor addressed miscommunications by checking someone’s assumptions.
Alan Alda was excited when he hired a new financial advisor. The guy seemed to have it all—experience, knowledge, and plenty of big-name clients.
That’s why Alda started to get a little out of sorts as the months wore on. He started every meeting with high expectations but always came away frustrated. Alan was confident in his intellectual ability, but perhaps navigating the ins and outs of Wall Street was beyond him. After all, the other guy was the expert.
In his best-selling book, If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?, Alda details their painful conversations filled with financial jargon. A straightforward question would lead to run-on, meticulous explanations about commodities, futures, and potential risks associated with every possible outcome.
After serious thought, Alan decided to make a change. The financial advisor still had everything initially promised—a killer resume and important roster. But those qualifications didn’t solve the problem at hand: Alda couldn’t understand a word he said.
Have you ever been caught in a similar conversation or presentation—the long-winded, jargony kind? And did the person leading the discussion think they were killing it simply because they could talk for 20 minutes straight?
Let’s replay the case study for a minute. Can you highlight the biggest mistake the financial advisor made which derailed their relationship? Assumptions.
Assumptions that Alda wanted to talk through all the risks and rewards when what he really wanted was the bottom line. Assumptions that Alda understood or wanted to learn financial industry terms of art. And an assumption his client could organize twenty facts going in different directions into a single, cogent solution. Unfortunately, the financial adviser’s assumptions created a wake of words, where his client was overwhelmed by details, lost, and frankly, a little bored.
It’s a mistake thinking a lengthy presentation is the only way to prove your knowledge. Sometimes the most effective messaging happens in a 2-minute elevator pitch. So, avoiding all the problem above is easy with a few simple changes: Check your assumptions at the door and power your ideal outcome with How tactics. Be empathetic to your audience and make a smart choice to meter the depth of information you share.
If you want to achieve the key soft skill outcome of communicating with impact, watch your wake. Here are three ways to start:
It’s good to know what’s what when you’re in a meaningful conversation or making a pitch. But keep your delivery in check by checking your assumptions.