Claim Your Authority

In the May series, Claim the Real You, we’ve talked about how to be authentic. The last step may be the most meaningful, and that is to claim the authority in your own life.

When I say, “claim authority,” are you ready to rumble? Hold up! We all have to get along with friends, family, and co-workers. But the tangle is that going along just to get along can turn back on you. That’s what happened to Cynthia.

Cynthia Wonders If Only…

Cynthia’s family was straight out of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” They were loud, proud, and fearless about expressing their opinions. Her mother insisted Cynthia could rely on her ambitious fiancée to bring home the bacon. So, she didn’t worry about dropping out of college when she got pregnant during their first year of marriage. But Cynthia regretted that decision when they split up five years later.

Then her brothers urged her to work at their famous, multi-national employer. With great benefits and plenty of vacation, it seemed like the right thing to do. But she wasn’t particularly invested in the boatload of work that landed on her desk.

Before she knew it, Cynthia was filled with regret, wondering, If only I had finished college and If only I had taken another job. Her family had good intentions with their good ideas. There was just one problem—they didn’t have to deal with the consequences. So, Cynthia slowly started testing the waters with choices based on her instincts instead of everyone else’s advice. And that’s when she rediscovered her true self.

How to Claim Your Authority

Have you ever felt like Cynthia, where someone else’s encouragement left you wondering, How did I get here? Even worse, are you worried about what they’ll say when you tell them you went in another direction? Here are three responses using the soft skill of healthy self-confidence to claim your authority in the face of “helpful” advice:

• I’m not ready to decide yet. I’ll let you know.

• I’m exploring—I can’t wait to see what’s next.

• Let me give that idea some thought.

Four Ways to Keep Your Authenticity

Let’s recap the four ways to keep your authenticity we’ve discussed this month. The next time you:

1. Feel good about an accomplishment, Claim What Lifts You Up and make that skill or talent part of your essence going forward.
2. Are tempted to gloss over a weakness, Claim Your Clarity. Keep a sense of humor about what should go in the “work in progress” bucket.
3. Think you must bargain away your must-haves, Claim Your Worth. Build a tribe that supports you when you need it but also challenges you to be your best self.
4. Feel caught up in someone else’s story about how your life should unfold, Claim Your Authority. Put suggestions through the filter of, “Is this true for me?”

Remember—the goal of being a Soul Boss is to integrate your work, home and weekend personalities into a seamless experience. Take the pieces of your scattered, splintered self and mold them into wholeness.