When you mention communication skills at work, everyone shakes their head in agreement. But if communicating is so simple, why does it go wrong so quickly?
Communication can be like a piece of glass—at its best, beautiful and elegant. But at its worst, it is sharp, jagged and can unexpectedly cut others.
In the May series, Communication PSAs, we’ll talk through three common missteps. Clapback tactics may shut down uncomfortable conversations, but they’re no way to build a career, especially if you want to stay in your dream industry. So, let’s explore how soft skills can help you lower the heat, so you have a long, rewarding career and a stellar reputation.
A conversation with a neighbor sparked my thinking about this topic. She’s worried about her super intelligent kid brother—he’s someone who prides himself on answering every chat, mail, and text first. However, he’s been surprised that others don’t necessarily appreciate his take-no-prisoners communication style.
So, here’s Communication PSA #1: Not posting is always an option. That’s a lesson our case study subject learned the hard way. Communicating with care could have saved her from spoiling several important relationships.
Phoebe Cohen’s communication troubles started with a whimper but quickly escalated to a bang. A friend had had it with the loud neighborhood pool party and cracked, “Phoebe, you need to take your son home. He’s making too much noise.”
Phoebe complied but quickly regretted her decision. The answer became obvious the longer she stewed: She logged onto Facebook and blocked her friend of over ten years with a click of a button.
Soon, spotting potentially toxic people in her life and blocking them on social media became her favorite pastime. It all blew up one day when a minor squabble over a Harry Potter character became a life-and-death debate.
That was Phoebe’s “enough is enough” moment, where she began rethinking her approach. What surprised her was that bickering and blocking others gave her a brief rush but ultimately didn’t bring peace of mind.
Her new policy is simple and easy: No blocking. Exchange online bickering with real-life conversations. And recognize that isolated disagreements don’t need to end friendships.
Have you ever wished someone communicated with care? For instance, the person with a no-filter delivery or someone with a blind spot about how their messages land? And did you happen to notice how others withdrew from them?
You can avoid their mistakes with some straightforward rules of the road. Rethink that post when:
* You’re upset;
* You have a lot to say; and
* You may not have thought through who might see it. (And factor in someone who may not be on your side or loves seeing you upset or frustrated.)
Instead, use soft skill How tactics—like managing your emotions and making self-respecting choices—to temper your actions. Take yourself through a one-minute exercise before you hit “Post” by asking one or all of these Big Questions:
These days, hitting “Post” seems automatic. But your editorial spin and delivery are just as important as what happened. Think of all the time and emotional heartburn you’ll save by discarding a post where you’ve vented or even overreacted. You won’t have to worry about who saw it, who’s talking about it, or who may want to show the receipts later.
When you get an itchy index finger, remember that not posting is always an option. Tap soft skills and use them to your advantage because you can’t put a price on emotional, mental, and professional peace. Start communicating with care.
Is this your year to hone killer communication skills? Straight talk about people skills and how to get things done at work is finally here. Check out my new book, Soft Skills Basics in a Flash.