Last week we met Johanna, who hoped that speaking her truth was all that mattered. Instead, her delicate relationship with her manager shattered like a glass ball when he gave her a take-it-or-leave-it ultimatum.
In this week’s excerpt from Genuine Power—7 Techniques to Be Powerful in a Loud, Complicated World, we’ll review Technique #4, Control the Burn. Bright ideas and enthusiasm are the perfect kickstart to any project. But how can you manage that excitable energy to stay in genuine power?
To download your free copy of Genuine Power, visit your favorite bookseller. Ditch the tired, obsolete version of destructive power and live a Soul Boss life, where you stay the boss of you. Go from tripped up to powered up!
Have you ever known a Firestarter? The good kind is a vibrant, enthusiastic person whose optimism is a force multiplier.
Then there’s the other kind.
The bad kind of Firestarter plays with a figurative box of matches. When you see them, they have a new story about solving their latest catastrophe. But they often forget to mention the most important part: It was a problem they created or could have avoided!
Putting out dumpster fires may make you feel empowered, but always being in the middle of a crisis is exhausting. Waltzing through life playing with matches is dangerous. Unless you control the burn, your spark may turn into a wildfire.
Kevin slapped his brother Alex on the back at the Fourth of July family barbecue. “Hey, bro! I saw your new car on Facebook. I checked it out as soon as we parked. It’s so cool—let’s get out of here and go for a ride!”
“Sure! Paul and I love it. It’s so much nicer than our old sedan. And it’s a hybrid!” Alex said, beaming.
“Wow, I didn’t realize it had all these features,” Kevin gasped, settling in. “Uh, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you guys buy a brand, new Lexus SUV? I mean, I think you two earn about as much as we do. Kelly and I are still driving our Hondas. At least they’re paid off!” he joked.
“We couldn’t quite swing the purchase price, but we could handle a lease. The hybrid SUV was so tempting that we had to have it. We’ll figure out the balloon payment in two years,” Alex said, trailing off. His tone brightened. “Our renters should help us in the long run.”
“Renters?” Kevin asked, raising his eyebrow. “I thought you lived in an apartment.”
“Not anymore!” Alex said. “We found a house before we got married but couldn’t sign the papers until Mom and Dad agreed to foot the down payment as a wedding present. Living there is . . . um . . . a little more expensive than we thought. We knew our rent would go up, but all the bills seemed to double! But it’s all good since we rented out the basement. That gave us some financial headroom.”
Kevin shifted in his seat. “Can you do that since you don’t own the house? I mean, most leases don’t let you sublet.”
“Look, we’re not running a business. We’re just picking up a little cash on the side,” Alex said, dismissing him. “I haven’t talked with the owner, but I doubt that he’d be upset. If he’s going to get his rent check every month, we need to have the cash to pay him. Kevin, you worry too much!” he laughed.
For Alex and Paul, indulging their I-want-what-I-want-when-I-want-it mentality stretched their budget to the breaking point. Their ability to discover a way out of every problem made them feel powerful, but that was just camouflage. Scrambling for answers helped them avoid seeing what was evident to everyone else: A low point quickly offset every financial high point.
There’s a lot of commotion in the scene above: new purchases, shifting relationships, and moving. When you slow down, the blind spot becomes obvious: Alex and Paul’s frenzied, discrete choices and impulsive energy have become the boss of them. Job one is harnessing that energy for smart choices. Otherwise, their leap-first-look-later mentality will get them into a jam that won’t go away with a quick fix.
You, or someone you know, might be just like Alex and Paul. You could be a magician when it comes to managing emergencies, but are there disasters everywhere you turn? Engineering workarounds is a chaotic shell game, not a long-term strategy. Profound, unfailing power doesn’t jump from one crisis to another.
How could Alex and Paul solve the problem of depleting their power bank with discrete choices? The first step is to create a common vision, then shift to agile thinking.
For example:
· Create a common vision. Alex and Paul hadn’t planned their future; they were living in an aspirational fantasy. That’s why they made short-term decisions, chasing one shiny new goal after another. Think back to the overview of the Soul Boss principles where you’re the creative, wise CEO for your life. Part of being a successful CEO is designing a vision, and then taking steps to make that vision a reality.
· Shift from being impulsive to being agile. Alex and Paul are quick on their feet, and that is a skill worth keeping in our fast-paced world. However, they need to exchange impulsivity for agility. They can stay on the right track by pivoting from an erratic attitude of “We’ll work through the details later,” to a discerning approach of “Let’s sit down and think through this decision. Putting pen to paper isn’t boring—it’s how we invest in our future.”
The days of being powerful simply by keeping up appearances are over. Genuine power happens when you manage the internal as well as the external. To do that, you must be calm, confident, and steady.
The only way to have sustainable results is to harness your dynamic energy and regulate it every step of the way—from the vision to the execution to the follow through. When you use the Soul Boss standard of blending your shrewd intellect with passionate emotions, you own every inch of your experience. Anything else is just luck. And there’s always a point where luck runs out.
Technique #4—Control the Burn
Transform frantic into focus