Give Your Calendar Positive Attention

Are you feeling a little worn out after a busy January? You’re not alone. I heard about a guy who dumped his cellphone because he felt pressured to monitor and reply instantly to text messages. That sounds extreme, but it really becomes a crazy story when I tell you the guy is Ed Sheeran. After the Multiply tour, he said that he “got really, really overwhelmed and sad with the phone. I just spent my whole time in a very low place. I got rid of it, and it was like a veil just lifted.”

Ed’s story shows that relationships aren’t limited to a person—you’re also in a relationship with your work, your self-image, or even your phone! But what happens when relationships start going south? Do you emotionally check out or go the other direction and start forcing it to work? You might even throw in the towel and break up—like Ed did with his phone!

There’s an alternative to negative relationship patterns, and that is to use intentional qualities like thought, care, and encouragement. Since February is the month of love, we’ll talk about how you can use soft skills to improve all kinds of relationships in the series, Three Ways to Practice Positive Attention.

Let me tell you how a popular composer decided to show his calendar some love.

Turn Off Your Default Yes Button

If you’re looking for calm, inspiring background music while you work, sleep, or study, I hope you’re a subscriber of RelaxDaily on YouTube. It’s a simple premise: A guy playing solo piano in a beautiful background.

With over 250 million views and almost a million subscribers, you might think the composer, Michael, would churn out videos as fast as he can. But he recently posted that he was slowing his roll. Here’s what he wrote:

“In case you hear less new music from me in the coming months, it’s because I accept the limitations of my body, allow myself to slow down with basically everything I do, allowing my body to rest, relax, recharge, and heal.

Something feels broken. I will take the time it takes to find out what it is, what I can adjust, and how I can continue creating beautifully. There’s still lots of music inside me. I’ll be there with you in 2022.”

How Soft Skills Can Help You Give Your Calendar Positive Attention

If your schedule is anything like mine, taking a sabbatical or declining uncomfortable meetings isn’t an option! However, that doesn’t mean your schedule gets to be the boss of you. You can change the relationship you have with your calendar through positive attention.

Think of your day like a person. Do you try to avoid conversations, show up at the last minute, or scatter your focus with distractions? That doesn’t sound like a friend you would want to spend time with!

Contrast that relationship with someone who is present and listens deeply, whether you’re talking about something about small or having a heart-to-heart. Someone who challenges you to go to the next level. And someone who welcomes your presence. That’s the ideal dynamic to have with your daily interactions, and the soft skills of smart choices and healthy self-esteem are the techniques to achieve that dynamic.

Here are three ways to practice:

1. Ask yourself The Big Question, “Have I made reasonable commitments?” Imagine this: If you supervised someone the way you manage your day, would they want to work for you? If the answer is no, start refining how you spend your time.
2. Swap forcing your day with being in the flow. Create a rhythm that works best for you—whether that’s feeling energized by a back-to-back day or scheduling focus time each week to catch your breath.
3. Support yourself by declaring, “I schedule commitments with respect for my mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing—it’s essential for a healthy life.”

By taking a mindful approach, you can take charge of how you spend your time rather than feeling tethered to the meeting reminder bell. Your calendar doesn’t need to be a boring “have to”—empower yourself and give it positive attention.