A friend took a gigantic step forward in reclaiming her time. She opened a calendar invite, saw she didn’t have any direct responsibilities, and promptly declined. In the past, she might have attended because she felt bad saying no, or possibly ducked out at the last minute. But this time, she told me, “I had so many other commitments that I wanted to work on that I didn’t have a reason to say yes—plain and simple.”
The ”plain and simple” reference caught my ear. It was a good reminder that everything in life is subject to an inventory now and again. Vironika Jugaleva described it this way: “Authenticity is allowing your likes, dislikes, personality, appearance, hobbies, and beliefs to be fluid, to change, to evolve as you learn, grow and experience the world.”
Let me tell you how no became one woman’s most authentic response.
Christine Platt, author of The Afrominimialist’s Guide to Living with Less, pulled off an extreme home makeover without picking up a hammer or hiring a contractor. She asked herself four deceptively plain and simple questions: “Am I fully utilizing the space? What do I really want from my home? Does home represent what I love and value most? Am I afraid to make changes?”
Platt and her daughter had a 2,500 square foot home, but she considered downsizing. She took an unusual tack to make the final decision: Heat mapping data. The heat mapping showed they rarely used rooms set aside for special occasions. Instead, they mostly hung out in the kitchen and their respective bedrooms. Did they need family space? Of course. But they didn’t need as much space as they had, as well as the energy and tax bills that went along with it.
Christine challenged herself to reimagine how the family might live and decided flexible options were in order. Gone is the formal living room, now replaced by the “everything room” where they can either chit-chat while relaxing on a chaise or push the furniture together and make a lounger for binge-watching. The formal dining room has also been replaced by a table and chair set that can double as a workstation.
The Platt family couldn’t be more pleased with the before and after results of their ruthless inventory. Christine says, “Every object and trinket serves a purpose, reminding me of who I am, what my ancestors overcame, and what I want my loved ones to inherit. Home is a reflection of what I love and value most.”
In the October series, Make Your Yes/No Shortlist, we’re talking about how you can decide your yesses and nos. The surprising part of Christine Platt’s 4-question exercise is that you can use it for much more than a home inventory. For instance, are you like my friend, where utilizing your time well will require a few turn-downs? Are you setting priorities around what you love and value most to get what you want out of life? Or, are you sitting on the sidelines because you’re afraid to make changes?
Soft skills can help you with those questions. Once you kick-off your inventory, your yesses and no’s may come fast and furious. But you also need to be creative and adaptable to make those smart decisions and enthusiasm real. Here are three ways to begin:
The authentic you is going to change as you learn, grow, and experience the world. So, say no to anything that feels overcomplicated and yes to keeping life plain and simple.