Download "How to Soft Skill" and start describing your soft skills impact! I want a FREE checklist!Click to join!

Slay the Overconfidence Game

Win at Office Politics

At a recent roundtable, someone casually raised the topic of office politics. But the shocker was what came next: The consensus was to avoid and ignore situations that seemed even remotely political. That’s where I shook my head because office politics isn’t a game limited to pointless gossip and power plays. It’s also about understanding the environment.

So, here’s the good news right out of the gate: You don’t have to co-sign bad behavior. You just have to have a few people skills in your back pocket to address it.

Let’s frame that idea around travel since it’s Spring Break season. Imagine planning your first trip to New York City. There’s no way you would avoid, ignore, or wing potential hazards. Instead, you’d get the lay of the land by understanding what attractions aren’t worth the time or effort and collecting pro tips about avoiding pickpockets and scammers.

Likewise, office politics can seem like a foreign land in a new app. So, let’s venture into this parallel universe and figure out how to slay dragons blocking your way. Because when you know how to architect for those blockers, you’ll not only slay the dragon, you’ll slay the game.

The first dragon you encounter may challenge your confidence. Let’s meet someone whose boldness became a blocker.

Timing is Part of Bossing Up

You may know actress Dee Wallace for her many TV and movie roles, including Drew Barrymore’s mother in ET The Extra-Terrestrial. But in Los Angeles, she’s also known as an acting coach.

A student called into Dee’s podcast for advice after her day on a set went sideways. The actress had noodled on a character study and arrived bright and early with enthusiastic ideas about her role. Unfortunately, the director was distracted and apathetic.

Later she ran into one of the show’s producers. Ahh, my second chance, she thought as she cornered them. She was speechless when her second pitch of the day received a similar cool response.

By 4 PM, she got an unnerving call from her agent. “Hey—what’s with all the conversations?” they asked.

Dee listened quietly but gave her acting student some ET mom-style tough love by asking, “So, what did you learn today about being on a set?”

Three People Skills to Slay the Game

Like the young actress, have you also been sold the myth that bossing up only requires being assertive and bold? Confidence is essential, but she had a critical miss: Her confidence became tunnel vision. She forgot that the ability to pick the time, place, and audience was just as important as what was said.

Let’s replay the case study for a minute, but this time, we’ll apply people skills to understand how things might have gone differently. For instance:

* The actress could have cut the pitch short when the director brushed her off. Character revisions were probably the last thing on his mind as he planned the day for 100+ people. So, cutting him slack would have showed emotional intelligence.

* Next, she might have tested the waters when she ran into the producer. But pushing her agenda the second time around seemed thirsty, showing a lack of self-awareness and timing.

* Last, she could have been adaptable and changed course. She might have had more success befriending one of the writers. After all, they held the pen for script changes.

It’s easy to quickly see how a few small pivots would have made a big difference. The actress may not have received the yes she hoped for; however, she could have sidestepped the red flag call from her agent.

Using people skills isn’t manipulative or inauthentic—all of the negatives of office politics. Instead, they are a way to be as tuned in to the environment as when you play a game on your phone. Those sensitivities are certainly a must-have with difficult or unreasonable people. So, cultivate the ability to assess emotions and situations accurately and quickly and then adjust. When you use emotional intelligence, you won’t just slay the dragons of overconfidence and bad timing, you’ll slay the game.

 

Is this your year to uplevel your emotional intelligence? Straight talk about people skills and how to get things done at work is finally here. Check out my new book, Soft Skills Basics in a Flash.