The screw sticking out of my tire wrecked my day, but the situation could have been so much worse. The shop couldn’t patch it; then all four tires had to be replaced since I have an all-wheel drive car. I cringed as I reached for my wallet—until I remembered I almost took the freeway home. That afternoon I traded away money I would have spent for fun. Then again, what’s the value of missing a serious, high-speed accident? Priceless.
Contrary to popular belief, trade-offs don’t have to be negative. In the past, bossing up meant being a take-no-prisoners negotiator, where any concessions were a sign of weakness. But the truth is that getting along with others—whether at work, home or in your community—requires adjustments.
For instance, you let a meeting go long as a colleague thinks out loud about solutions. You overlook your kid’s bad mood and keep it moving. And you stay respectful to the person leading a meeting, even when you disagree with their ideas. These scenarios are part of everyday life.
So, the trick to making trade-offs you feel good about is to carefully prune whatever leaves you feeling unbalanced or out of sorts. Let’s meet someone who can teach us the marketable skill of understanding when to make concessions or stand your ground.
Gareth Allen was thrilled to get a solid offer to lead Talent Acquisition for a hedge fund. It had all the elements: An immediate start, positive financials, and four days in the office. But, before he gave the final yes, he raised the topic of work flexibility, hoping to confirm he could continue alternating school pick-ups with his wife.
Allen considered his question a minor point of order, but suddenly the team went icy. He posted on LinkedIn, “Their response was hesitant, flat, followed by “Why?” For me, this was the deal breaker. It’s not about me knowing my worth, but knowing the worth of my family, and the part I play in their lives as a husband and Dad.”
He bristled at the traditional notion that timekeeping was the only way to score effectiveness. He wrote, “Technology has advised to allow productivity tracking if you need it, and if you don’t feel you have the soft skills to support your team to be solution focused, then you should ask for help and training. It is better to work collectively and creatively to solve problems than to insist on exacting hours.”
In the April series, Spring Clean Your Soft Skills, we’re giving three everyday work skills the once-over so you can leave with practical ways to expand, improve, and upgrade those skills.
The case study centers around problem-solving but also shows how to combine soft skills and power them with discerning choices and healthy self-esteem. Can you spot the know-how? How about:
* Self-awareness
* Assertive, curious communication
* Insight about how to achieve optimum productivity
In the same way, take a minute to connect with your instincts. You’ll instantly know what choices have gone stale and are worth paring back. The reward is simple: Your true self is your best self.
Here are three ideas to spark your thinking:
Spring clean trade-offs so concessions are shrewd, intentional, and balanced.