A friend oversaw a bunch of high school students at a summer computer camp, and a simple assignment took a disastrous turn. She took a break, giving the students time to think through the project. But when she returned, her inbox had turned black with a sea of messages.
The students were so enthusiastic that they hit Send after every a-ha moment. She laughed, telling how she called a time-out and cried, “Hey! Email isn’t like texting. Pick your three favorite ideas, then hit Send!”
It’s a funny story about people just getting their social footing. However, have you seen the same problem with grown-ups? Me, too! My friend was right: Emailing is different than texting. And emailing your Manager or Skip Manager from 9 to 5 absolutely has no resemblance to texting your friends after hours.
The difference between seeming polished or looking a little ragged around the edges is calibrating your style. But there’s no need to worry. Calibrating how you communicate isn’t the same as being stiff or sacrificing your personality. So, stick around to discover how practicing people skills is the way to remain your friendly, authentic self.
Zachary Watson’s heart was in the right place as he tried to wrangle his toddler away from freshly baked muffins. He picked one up and called out to his wife, “Alyssa, do you think that these muffins are too hot to feed her?”
Alyssa replied with exasperation, “They just came out of the oven, Zach. Of course, they are.”
The good news is that Zach and his wife kept a sense of humor about the situation. But in Zach’s TikTok, he also shared how he learned that asking obvious questions required his wife to “switch directions with her brain,” contributing to decision fatigue.
The case study story is filled with real talk about partnerships. However, there’s a bigger lesson. Have you ever been a tax on someone else’s mental capacity and only realized your mistake as the words left your mouth? I have. But you can turn around this error by using in-demand, marketable people skills such as communication, collaboration, and emotional intelligence.
In the October series, Three Essential Etiquette Tips for Modern Work, we’re refreshing the social skills you learned as a kid so you can achieve at work and in life.
When you were little, your parents may have told you that you didn’t necessarily need to voice every random idea that came into your head. Unfortunately, that advice can go by the wayside and people may think they’re bossing up by putting forward every idea they have. But all ideas may not have merit. So, going in conflicting directions becomes a fast pass to decision fatigue.
The better way is to take multiple ideas, make room for input, and then filter them to choose the best of the best. What’s another way to describe that style of collaboration and inclusivity? You’re simply being polite.
Here are three ways to use etiquette tip #2 in this series—streamline the mental load:
Maintaining superb etiquette doesn’t need to be complex or complicated. It’s often as simple as standing in someone else’s shoes and being willing to streamline their mental load. So, pare up your communications with two magic qualities: Make them clear and actionable. Optimize your ask before you hit Send.