Download "How to Soft Skill" and start describing your soft skills impact! I want a FREE checklist!Click to join!

Strike a Balance Between External and Personal Investments

Use Soft Skills for Relationships

Did you catch the article about a CEO who suggested, “Never hire anyone that’s looking for work/life balance”?

As you can imagine, plenty of people had thoughts about the CEO’s so-called “wisdom” share. So, after you take a time-out to shake your head and roll your eyes, let’s talk about it.

Great relationships never happen by taking a single-minded approach—something the CEO forgot. Instead, they work when you recognize them as dynamic, ever-evolving, and requiring a little TLC. So, in the February series, How to Use Soft Skills to Strike a Balance in Relationships, we’ll look at relationships from three angles and discuss how soft skills can help you keep relationships current and healthy.

The first relationship we’ll discuss is the one with self. You may think, Advocating for myself sounds good, but what about my responsibilities, like kids or how I’ve stepped up financially to help my aging parent?

Fair enough.

However, here’s the point: Accountability isn’t limited to others—it’s also about sowing into yourself. That’s the need the CEO failed to recognize by criticizing work/life balance. Work is a critical part of the picture, but you need to put yourself in the picture.

Striking a balance between work and personal identities is something Phoebe Gavin understands. So, let’s see how she pivoted and kept moving forward in difficult times.

Put Yourself in the Picture

Phoebe Gavin knew something was terribly wrong when her editor called on a Sunday in 2015. She was laid off within minutes.

She was in a tailspin—the editor’s lack of context left her questioning her abilities and professional identity. But the biggest blow was practical. Being a staff writer didn’t pay much, and she didn’t have a fairy godmother with deep pockets, ready to keep her afloat.

After squeezing by on credit cards, Gavin had a “that does it” moment. Her low-income family didn’t know how to teach the financial skills Phoebe needed to navigate life in New York City, but she wasn’t going to let her past stop her. She confidently decided, “I’m never going to be in this position again.”

She built a new game plan on three pillars: Investments, connections, and savings. First, she took a cut at her resume to identify skills she could grow and monetize. Then she used her skills shortlist as a foundation to start a career coaching business. She kept career coaching as a side hustle after working full-time at digital news outlet Quartz.

Phoebe was recently caught in budget cuts, but she remains optimistic. Instead of letting externals dictate her path, her new question is, “How can work help facilitate the life I want to have?”

How Soft Skills Will Help You Strike a Balance

The moral of the story is simple: Companies and situations come and go, but skills are forever!

The old way to boss up was to find a single mentor who opened important doors. However, that mindset is dated and disempowering. Even worse, it’s no guarantee in today’s economic climate. So, rather than waiting for a mover and shaker to show up, use soft skill How tactics like discernment and healthy self-esteem to make moves that are right for you.

Here are three ways to assess where and how you’re investing:

  1. Take stock of your time: Could you repurpose a pocket of time in your week? Intentionally use that time to revive network contacts, join a v-team or take a class to meet new people, or reflect on how you can expand and pitch your soft skills acumen.
  2. Take stock of your story: Are you ready to elevator pitch your marketable skills? If not, think through a list and pick the highlights.
  3. Take stock of your money mindset: That may sound like odd advice, but you’re the financial leader of your life. So, stay on top of your business!

In an uncertain world, it’s easy to start over-indexing on externals. Instead, show yourself some love (and that isn’t only limited to February!), and strike a balance by investing in self.