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Strike a Balance Between Me and We

Use Soft Skills in Relationships

While I’ve been hiding under the covers from the latest bout of snow and freezing temperatures, the local garden show had record attendance. One person wrote about hatching a plan of attack to prune her wisteria vines.

It’s a huge job requiring many hours of work. However, she painted a picture of a gorgeous payoff: “Pruning plants and preparing beds now sets the stage for a beautiful, bountiful season ahead. I am imagining summer dinners with friends and family under the magical green and purple canopy. The fruits of my wisteria labor are the beautiful environment that I am creating for myself, family, and friends.”

In the February series, How to Use Soft Skills to Strike a Balance in Relationships, we’ve discussed how you can keep relationships current and healthy. Like the gardener, are you feeling the winds of change? Do you need to do some pruning to create a thriving, beautiful environment for essential relationships, but you’ve been putting it off because you feel nervous about cutting too deep?

There’s a simple answer: Go back to basics. So, let’s start with a simple punch list.

The Personal Lightning Round Inventory

A recent interview with Tracee Ellis Ross highlighted expectations around traditional relationship roles. Tracee’s decided to skip the pre-determined “we” mold, where the only path to fulfillment is a straight line of meet someone–>partner up–>have kids–>boom, happiness!

In its place, she’s decided to keep a healthy dose of “me” in every relationship. For her, striking a balance means keeping the connection to who she is at heart.

You might listen and think, Me, too—I don’t fit a neat mold, either! But your next thought might be, How can I stay true to myself and still connect with others?

Here’s how: Take a lightning round inventory. Whatever comes to mind—no matter what you blurt out—is correct for you. So, stay open. As Tracee says, “You can’t mess it up!”

These small questions may seem flip, but taking your self-awareness to the next level can open the door to big changes. Striking a balance in relationships gets easier by being discerning and honoring your internal wisdom. For instance:

* When you know what makes your heart sing, you may decide to step back from daily lunches with the colleague who always seems to have a negative report about others.

* You’ll discover that you feel powerful by practicing a presentation with a trusted colleague before the big meeting.

* And you’ll feel wise by putting your lived experience to work. Listen to and act on your Spidey Sense to avoid making the same mistakes twice.

How Soft Skills Can Help Strike a Balance in Relationships

Soft skills aren’t tricky or complicated—they’re as easy as 1, 2, 3! Here’s a recap of the ways to strike a balance in relationships we’ve discussed this month:

There’s no genie waiting to grant three wishes for great relationships. Instead, they come together with thought, care, and a little TLC—one conversation, one moment, and one day at a time. So, take charge like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and make intentional choices to keep your relationships current and healthy.