Have you fallen down the rabbit hole of dupe videos popping up on social media? It’s a simple concept: Take a high-end product and try to duplicate the results with an affordable knock-off.
But beware before you hit “Buy.” That’s because there’s a problem no one has mentioned: There are two kinds of dupes. Some dupes are like fast fashion—they seem like a good alternative, but the cut-rate discount product either falls apart quickly or fails to deliver. However, the alternative is what you’ve been striving to find: The incredible “you’re just what I was looking for” dupe.
I thought about dupes when I had lunch with a colleague. Rumors were flying that he was on the way out. Suddenly, James stayed, and I knew the backstory had to be juicy. Could the competitor’s pitch be like a fast fashion dupe?
He laughed and confirmed all the rumors had been true. He had gone way down the road with the other company only to stay put. I expected a cascade of stories about a new charter, significant title change, or high-powered salary negotiations. Ultimately, none of that mattered.
James shrugged his shoulders as we talked. “All those calls and meetings made me realize I didn’t want to change jobs. I liked what I’m working on, and most importantly, I like the people I worked with—with a few exceptions,” he laughed. “It was a great offer. But in the end, the team I put so much time and effort building made me stay—I just couldn’t duplicate them.”
My conversation with James made me realize that a bright and shiny offer can lure anyone. It feels good to be romanced, even if you tell yourself you’re just browsing.
However, before you leap without looking, take a second look at your environment—that was the a-ha moment for James. The serious care he showed nurturing partnerships, alliances, and comrades-in-arms resulted in serious relationships. Those connections were equal to, if not more important than, a new opportunity.
Like James’ stellar team, you can be the dupe. Not the cut-rate, discount version. But someone with such incredible people and relational skills that people want to emulate your ways of working and consider you irreplaceable.
In the February series, Serious Skills for Serious Relationships, we’ve discussed how to use people skills to sidestep relationship errors. The sweet spot between relationships and skills boils down to this: Every meeting, interaction, conversation, and communication is either building or breaking your reputation as a serious person.
Here’s a recap of what we’ve learned:
The qualities required to make relationships run—like taking control of your thought life, developing grit, and applying emotional intelligence—are all essential work skills. Successful partnerships require intention and consistency, such as exercising self-control when you want to shut someone down with a clever comeback. Leaning in to work through differences rather than checking out and hoping things go your way. And knowing that behaving as poorly as someone else may feel good in the moment, but it probably won’t increase your long run earning power. So, act like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and use people skills to cultivate powerful, sustainable relationships.
Have you enjoyed this series? Keep the goodness going by discovering a new approach to skilling up. Check out my new book, Soft Skills Basics in a Flash.