Let’s be honest about February—does the month of love leave you feeling pressured and confused?
Let’s change that.
Hearts, cupids, and sweeping romantic gestures might be everywhere you look, but that’s only one side of love. So, during February, we’ll talk about four surprising ways you can use soft skills to find love wherever you go in the series, Everyday Love.
Way #1? Be a kindness change agent. That’s what my friend Sophie tried to do when she changed jobs. She announced confidently, “I’m going to get along with everyone!”
It was an admirable goal, but much harder than it sounded. One person was always late with his work, giving Sophie limited time to meet deadlines. Another colleague was slow to share crucial information. Sophie’s outlook quickly changed from an optimistic, “What’s next?” to a cranky, “What now?!”
Everyone has faced situations like Sophie, where life got in the way of our best intentions. But giving and receiving love doesn’t have to be limited to the times everything goes your way. It’s possible to use the soft skill of adaptability to transform everyday irritations into compassion.
Does stretching when someone else is in the wrong seem as unrealistic as love at first sight? Let’s see how adaptability works in the real world.
When something doesn’t get done around the house, what helps your marriage? Your partner skipping the eye roll and giving you the benefit of the doubt instead can change everything.
If you disappoint a friend, do you hope they tell you gently and give you a second chance? Of course.
And how did adaptability work for Sophie? She complained, “After another slip-up, my first thought was, ‘I’m going to tell him off!’ Then I realized that was what my former manager said that all the time! Yelling never made anyone’s work better. So, I walked to my co-worker’s desk and asked, ‘What’s happening with the quarterlies? Another late report is bad for both of us.’ His face turned red and his hands started shaking. We agreed to work through the numbers together so we could hit the deadline.”
Sophie realized that the tactics used by her old boss to intimidate others—blaming, criticizing and sniping—were all learned. And Sophie didn’t want to bring those behaviors to her new job.
No one comes into the world being unkind. What were you born with? Lovingkindness—that’s your true nature and remembering your essence is how you shift hard feelings. Bob Kerrey described it this way, “Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.”
The next time you feel annoyed, use adaptability to release anything that isn’t the true you. Here are three ways to be a Kindness Change Agent:
Love isn’t somewhere, out there. It’s possible and present. Make it your mindset.