Social media has delivered a harsh verdict on the push, push, push days of multi-tasking—time’s up! A silver lining of quarantine life is that it has spurred a vibrant discussion about how everyone is reconfiguring their days to support their mental, emotional, and physical selves. There’s even a new, important layer: Quality.
Tracee Ellis Ross can tell you a lot about quality self-care. Her calendar is filled with long, busy days of directing, acting in shows like “Blackish,” and running Pattern, a beauty line directed at women with curly or kinky hair. But she’s learned that she runs out of gas if she doesn’t take time to slow down in small, manageable ways.
Early call? She eases into her day with a warm bath instead of leaping into her commute. Time for a lunch break? She orders soup so hot that she must eat it carefully. And what does she do when her mind is popping with ideas? She reorders her priorities after taking time to meditate.
You may listen to Tracee’s story and think, Of course, a rich and famous actress has time for self-care! I get what you’re saying—whenever I’ve had a crisis disrupt my life, I didn’t have a personal assistant booking salon appointments or refilling my refrigerator! But those upsets taught me something important: Self-care is mandatory during stressful times if you’re going to keep your life together.
To get through what you’re facing, you need whole food, no matter how much you want to devour donuts or eat on the run. You must listen to your body the way you would listen to a little child who needed to use the bathroom or wanted to lay down. And you need to calm your mind and process your emotions, so you have clarity and wisdom to make hard choices.
You may be a pro at little acts of random kindness for others, but are you kind to yourself? Being a Soul Boss works on two levels—you run your life like a creative, wise CEO, but you also use your soft skills toolkit, including compassion, to stay a good boss of you. If you were managing someone going through a hard time, you wouldn’t ignore their personal concerns and push them to keep hustling. So, treat yourself with the same consideration. Right now, a good boss would give you plenty of latitude.
In the April series, Coming Out Better, we’re talking about qualities you’d like to strengthen or change as a result of the coronavirus, or for any crisis. Improving how you’re good to yourself is as simple as changing your mindset from “every once in a while” to “every day.” Just listen to and respect the messages your instincts are sending. If you’re open, you’ll hear what your mental, emotional, or physical self (or all three!) need every day. Try these three ways:
Nathaniel Branden noted that “There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.” So, start viewing self-care as basic self-respect that will have an endless, critical ripple effect. Decide that you’re coming out of this crisis with a new non-negotiable: being generous to yourself.