It’s official: I think I’ve used up all my bad hair days for the rest of the year during a month-long quarantine. I can’t wait until my salon opens. Don’t they know they’re accountable for how I look?
I’m kidding, but it shows our conflicted view of accountability. When I say the word “accountable,” I bet your first thought is about someone else. You want your employer to pay you on time. And you want Amazon to deliver on time.
But here’s a big question: Do you know your own accountability level? Does your walk match your talk, or do you make aspirational promises followed by a slow fade?
In the April series, Coming Out Better, we’re talking about qualities you’d like to change or improve once the coronavirus crisis is over. Accountability can seem like an overwhelming topic, but you can cut it into bite size pieces by thinking of it as a series of small decisions. So, if one choice backfires, don’t get stuck—just use the soft skill of discernment to determine how you’ll make better choices going forward. That’s the learning curve Marianne Williamson discovered.
In the book, The Age of Miracles, Marianne Williamson tells about the early days of her speaking business. She worked out of her home, and her friend, Michelle, temporarily lived with her. Marianne would have meetings in her dining room while Michelle hung out elsewhere. When they would stop for tea in the afternoon, Michelle would sometimes have an observation about Marianne’s communication skills or suggest how she might improve the tone of her delivery.
Although the feedback could be hard to hear, Williamson realized there was always a kernel of truth in what Michelle said. Ultimately, Williamson came out a better speaker and a better boss to her staff. But change only happened because she was willing to have her friend check her.
You’re probably saying, “That’s interesting, but my best friend can’t follow me around like a reality show!” Fair enough. But you don’t need someone riding shotgun—your instincts are a built-in self-checker. They’re trying to get your attention in quiet, split-second moments where you think:
Listening to your instincts is only a start—transformation requires action. So, whenever your heart tells you you’re drifting off track, keep things light with a quick, good humored admission of, “Yeah, I did that! Next time, there’s a better way”.
Upleveling accountability can feel like a steep challenge because no one wants to acknowledge that they’re not at their best. But here’s the good news: When you let your internal wisdom check you, you instantly break the spell that a long, defensive Why story can cast. So, practice being accountable through these three ideas:
Less-than moments can happen in a flash, but course correcting can happen just as quickly. Decide that you’re coming out of the crisis with a fresh perspective about accountability.