We started the month by exploring the basics of power—building blocks and biases, and the ultimate X factor, power dynamics. We’ve put the Soul Boss principles and soft skills into practice using Technique #1—Use Power Tools with Care, and Technique #4—Control the Burn. This week, we’ll put it all together, so you have a few reminders for using genuine power when you are challenged or feel overwhelmed.
To download your free copy of Genuine Power—7 Techniques to Be Powerful in a Loud, Complicated World, visit your favorite bookseller. Ditch the tired, obsolete version of destructive power and live a Soul Boss life. Go from tripped up to powered up!
We’ve seen how power in and of itself isn’t bad or wrong. It’s how we express it that goes haywire. The next time you find yourself slipping into obsolete habits or a knee-jerk reaction, recall what we’ve learned:
Genuine Power Is an Inside Job. Relying on external circumstances for happiness is a shaky foundation. Genuine power is an inside job supported by healthy self-esteem. In each case study analysis, we contrasted the old-style, autocratic, blustery version of power with a new model built on purpose, ethics, honesty, and cooperation.
Hard Choices Are Solved with Soft Skills. The case studies are all anchored by a surprising truth: Hard choices are solved with soft skills. Soft skills are the key to navigating the difficult parts of life logic alone can’t reach—unspoken and often uncomfortable emotions. A soft skill may be defined as any interpersonal quality, such as the way you communicate, solve problems, or collaborate.
In “Power Dynamics, Large and Small,” we noted how power dynamics are the wildcard to every situation. Think back to the example of being on a plane with your crying two-year-old. Does a big corporate title or a smart argument work? Of course not. You resolve that situation using soft skills—being adaptable, creative, thinking on your feet, showing compassion to your child, and having the confidence that you’re handling things the best way you know how.
Clarity Is Your Superpower. The quick-cut exercise showed how it’s easy to get confused when you pair a mass of details with high emotions. Making the quick cut is the fearless, now-we’re-talking moment where we separate what matters most from all the flurry and distractions. Ancient tactics like shouting someone down or stage-managing situations rarely solved the problem at hand. So, the quick cut helped us discover a new superpower: clarity.
Finding clarity is like taking a trip. Do you pack first? Never. Instead, you put your destination front and center and then work through the details. In the same way, demonstrating genuine power is easy once you identify the endpoint. Only then can you sort through the specifics and make smart, caring decisions.
Creating your style of personal power takes insight, diligence, and a lot of practice. But remember—these traits aren’t talents you’re born with; they’re skills you learn! So, show tolerance as you “skill up,” as the learning curve may be steeper than expected.
Let’s face it: We live in a loud, complicated world. That’s why it’s easy to get tripped up. If you only remember one thing, remember the keyword list below—it’s the ultimate hack. In seconds, you’ll know whether you or someone challenging you is showing genuine power.
Genuine power is:
Imitation, phony, or artificial power is:
Outdated power thrives by tearing other people down, chasing money and possessions, or living behind a mask of swagger and narcissism. Although those short-run choices might seem to make sense, they’re terrible investments. They inevitably fade or end as power dynamics change; that’s why people and institutions are currently crumbling all around us.
Genuine power has ease, contentment, and humility. It requires that you let the light in your heart shine, whether you envision that light as an oceanside bonfire or a single candle in the window.
There are many ways to express genuine power. What is your way?