Have you had it up to here with microstressors? Authors Karen Dillon and Rob Cross define this term as the accumulation of tiny triggers we encounter throughout the day in their book, The Microstress Effect.
Take a quick glance at last week’s calendar; they will be crystal clear. Remember the rambling morning staff meeting that went long, putting you behind for the rest of the day? Check. The well-meaning colleague whose five-minute drive by stretched into a half hour? Check. And the friend who needed your help putting the finishing touches on a big presentation? Yup—all microstressors.
Tense situations will happen—there’s no way to wave a magic wand and make them disappear. However, dealing with microstressors doesn’t have to come at the expense of social skills, which are increasingly important in the workplace. Instead, you can make tough moments a little easier to bear by making kindness your calling card.
The idea of “Be kind” is easy when a colleague has sleepless nights due to their teething infant. When you’re covering for someone’s long-awaited anniversary trip. Or if they are struggling with an illness or caring for someone who is. But let’s address the elephant in the room: The real test is staying in the zone with challenging people and situations.
Here’s the upside to passing the test: Knowing how to manage your emotions is an in-demand skill. And what sounds better? Letting microstressors become the boss of you or keeping your professional reputation as a steady, courteous person intact?
Let’s meet a CEO who has found practical ways to quantify kindness.
Wildtype Media CEO Juliana Chan made the bold move to let her Singapore office lease expire and go fully remote. However, that move included a frank post-mortem about remote work.
Her new success shortlist only has two items: Communication and accountability. That makes yesses and no’s for current staff, potential hires, and vendors easy to navigate. For instance:
You might listen to the case study story and think, I’ve heard “Be kind” a million times. But you should meet some of the people I work with!
It’s true—as Juliana Chen hit on, it’s hard to be kind to the person who pops up and communicates only when they need something. It’s challenging to be considerate to the brandstander who can’t get enough attention for minor deliverables. And it’s hard to be charitable to the charmer who hasn’t prepared for a critical conversation.
But the trouble with letting your social skills lapse in response to bad behavior is that your reputation quickly follows. Who do you want to be known as—someone always squaring off in power struggles or someone who sees poor choices, shakes their head, and keeps it moving? So, instead of going tit for tat, practice outstanding etiquette with a few kindness fundamentals. Sign up for what you can accomplish, then get it done. Be consistent. And replace aspiration with accountability.
Here are three ways to use etiquette tip #3 in this series, Three Essential Etiquette Tips for Modern Work—make kindness your calling card:
Keeping people off balance with poor social skills and causing microstressors won’t get you far. So, stand out from the crowd by being poised and grown, and make kindness your calling card.