Actress and singer Cynthia Erivo has some pretty colorful tales about life before Wicked. In her early days, someone suggested that she train at the prestigious Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts.
Cynthia found herself rotating through a series of small roles, which seemed odd. She had enough entertainment experience to have already secured an agent. And her talent was undeniable. But the tipping point over casting came when several women in a musical suddenly became ill.
Normal theater protocol was for an understudy to step in. However, at the last minute, Cynthia received a radical proposal. Instead of substituting, she would sing offstage with a microphone while the other actresses lip-synced the lyrics.
In her book, Simply More: A Book for Anyone Who Has Been Told They’re Too Much, Erivo recalls being stunned. Simultaneously, she realized that saying no might hurt future RADA opportunities.
She wrote, “The powers that be quite literally took my voice away from me and gave it to someone else. When we rehearsed, I knew in my body this wasn’t right but didn’t know what to do about it.”
Can you relate to Cynthia’s dilemma, where you’ve been put on the spot? Did it seem that you had the choice of no choices?
And did one of these things happen?
* You second-guessed yourself, applying the Reddit AITA test.
* You got tongue-tied, where nothing made sense.
* Or you stopped yourself from voicing the curse words flowing through your mind because you didn’t want to turn into the worst version of yourself.
Those responses are totally legit. Taking a moment to check yourself doesn’t make you weak. Instead, it shows you’re a sophisticated, sensitive thinker.
In the July series, How to Beat Stressmaxxing, we’re talking about how to use people skills to maintain your work wellness. Paying attention to your thoughts and feelings is positive. It’s the best way to take hold of stressors before they take hold of you.
At the same time, everyone has to accommodate others. It’s unrealistic to think you’ll go through life endlessly getting your way.
Emotions provide essential information. So, differentiate between a single challenging or inconvenient situation vs. constantly editing yourself. Stepping into your full self requires acting on your insights rather than hushing them up.
That was the decision point for Cynthia Erivo. Ultimately, she left RADA early and withdrew from an endless footrace to prove her worth. And now? She’s part of their extended staff.
Defying gravity may not be your North Star, but are you in a situation where you’re stuck feeling like someone else’s back-up singer? Do you struggle to be treated as an equal?
Here’s why you want to push through, even if you have a quieter personality. If you don’t do it, you may accidentally bite off years of being underestimated, under-booked, and missing juicy opportunities. And that’s not the future you deserve.
So, put your natural people competencies of emotional intelligence, creativity, and healthy self-esteem to work to advocate for yourself. You’ll be clear and self-confident, not aggressive, thirsty, or demanding.
Here are suggestions about how to be assertive without picking a fight. They’ll help lower your stress and work for everyone from tough managers to demanding clients:
And your AI prompt is: Provide custom phrases for a co-worker who leaves me out of key decisions. Keep the responses positive and productive.
Everyone has a tough time being assertive in the presence of difficult people. So, empower yourself by speaking up with the same enthusiasm that you use for others. Keep your competence and confidence front and center.