I was trying to stay out of the Kelly Clarkson drama. But the stories just kept coming, one news cycle after another.
If you’ve been able to steer clear, here’s the recap. Kelly visited Brooklyn-based Art of Play and supposedly asked about purchasing an animated toy bird. A difference of opinion happened, and Kelly posted about being mistreated.
Social media has been lit up ever since. The trolls came out to play, and the store suddenly faced everything from random comments and hate-filled reviews to actual threats.
Store co-owner and bestselling author Adam Rubin tried to take the high road. He responded, “Nothing happened in this shop to justify her scolding our shopkeeper on the way out, but I could let that go. Everybody has a bad day,” he said. “But things changed when she used her platform to attack us. It’s asymmetrical social warfare.”
I’m not a Kelly Clarkson superfan, but I’ve listened to the hits since American Idol. As I walked down memory lane, it seems she’s had plenty of Wizard of Oz “Let me at ‘em!” moments.
There was Kelly’s famous repertoire feud with record executive Clive Davis. Recently she laughed that she’ll no longer have to battle with HR over her talk show. Now this. Hmmm…it seems like quarreling is becoming a habit.
In the October series, Sidestep Communication Unforced Errors, we’re talking about avoiding everyday communication mistakes.
Kelly’s story caught my eye because I’ve known several versions of the “never back down” personality. Do these dynamics sound familiar?
For instance:
* There was the antagonistic Biz Dev guy. His social skills didn’t include ice-breaking chit-chat. Instead, he opened every negotiation by whining for 10 minutes. My boss joked, “I don’t even let my kids talk to me like that!”
* Then there was the Senior Program Manager who had side conversations with our Lead. Somehow, she always had time to clock everything others did wrong. However, she didn’t have time to create a better process, then get feedback.
* And then there was the friend who had trouble regulating their emotions. Little irritations escalated, and I quickly became the sounding board for everything from minor road rage to setting strangers straight.
Let’s face it: Some people love to beef, often because it gives them a misplaced sense of personal power. However, constant throwdowns are a red flag. They’re not to be mistaken with appropriately advocating for yourself.
Negotiation rooms are prime time for people trying to walk out emotions from other situations. But as a professional negotiator, I learned that taking every piece of bait thrown my way was a miserable way to spend the day.
For example, words with their kid that morning? Suddenly someone’s short with you. Their difficulty explaining yesterday’s concession to their Lead? Now they’re projecting that you were unethical. And when they just don’t know what to do? They abruptly claim you haven’t disclosed all the facts.
The bitter truth is that you can’t cut everyone out of your life (even the poorly behaved!). So, the next time you’re stuck with someone who loves conflict, sidestep their invitation to bicker.
These phrases may not work 100% with close-minded people. However, they’ll keep conversations constructive and your professional reputation intact. That’s because they use competencies like emotional intelligence, staying flexible, and anchoring messages with critical thinking:
And your customizable AI prompt is: Act as a communications coach. Give me 3 ways to respond to hostile people while keeping my voice calm, professional, and authentic.
People are observing your How—that’s why little spats and hard feelings can damage your earning power. So, turn to people skills to stay unfazed.
