Did you catch the TikTok pitting The “Gen Z Stare” vs. “The Millennial Verbal Spiral”? Spoiler alert: The Stare wins.
In fairness, no one is born over-communicating—it’s just a bad habit.
Sometimes it starts in school with a demanding teacher who puts students on the spot. Then that bad habit continues at home.
For instance, have you ever known someone whose parent quizzed them at the dinner table? The parent thought they were helping. But the truth was, their kid felt terrorized instead of relaxed over dinner.
Childhood trouble may have been compounded by a micro-managing early-career boss. Their team meetings are like oral exams, and you wind up rambling, trying to find the right answer.
These situations aren’t excuses and you don’t have to co-sign unacceptable behavior. However, they may spark compassion and a little bit of patience.
So, the next time a verbal spiral starts, turn it around by following Henry David Thoreau’s advice: Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.
I remembered Thoreau’s idea while sitting through a presentation about a new dashboard.
It started on an enthusiastic high note. The presenters were eager to show off their tool, and the audience was equally interested in seeing it.
But the talk started falling flat with the first slide. It looked like an eye chart, with 16 different points.
Then the presenters methodically worked through each item. Were they thorough? Yes. However, they didn’t pivot as the audience’s energy faded. Phone screens lit up across the room as people checked email.
The punch line was that the project was a special CEO request. But by then, only a fraction of the room was paying attention.
In the October series, Sidestep Communication Unforced Errors, we’re talking about ways to avoid everyday communication mistakes.
Have you been so excited about sharing information that you overdo it like the presenters? I have.
As one of my favorite bosses in Entertainment once joked midway through a loooong post-vacation update: “Please, Michelle—just the headlines.” Doh!
Here’s the tangle: In the AI era, recaps and headlines reign supreme. However, that doesn’t mean you should cut corners. Knowing what you’re talking about is always valuable. But showing every detail of your homework can exhaust the listener.
So, the happy medium is to keep your solid research habits, but present like an AI agent. Attention-grabbing data goes first, followed by details.
Restructuring is something the presenters could have done. Imagine how much more interesting their talk would have been with a different approach.
For instance, they could have started with “The CEO reached out with an emergency request. The team came together over a weekend and created an easy-to-navigate dashboard. Let us show you how we did it. We’ll also share our best practices in case you’re ever put on the spot.”
Now that’s a discussion worth having!
The next time you’re in close quarters with someone in a verbal spiral, try focusing on first things first. (And pro tip: Use this idea to re-center if you’re the one going in circles.)
Here are simple swaps that incorporate people skills like critical thinking, flexibility, and emotional intelligence. They’ll keep the trains running on time without damaging the relationship by making others feel cut off or offended.
For instance:
* When you hear, “There’s a lot to do,” ask, “What’s today’s action to get to the next stage?”
* When someone offers to show their homework, suggest, “Thanks for the offer, but we have limited time. I’m interested in hearing your recommendation, then we can drill down as necessary.”
* When someone starts outlining all the potential problems, shift to “What are the top 3 friction points to solve?”
* When you spot competing priorities, try “Going in different directions may drain our budget. Let’s map the priorities, then allocate resources to the key outcomes.”
And your customizable AI prompt is: Act like a communications coach. Review this upload and suggest ways to streamline the presentation.
Thorough and substantive is essential. But overtalking is avoidable. So, differentiate your communications with the ultimate habit: Simplify, simplify, simplify.
